Scheduled Delivery

Today, we went to our final doctor's appointment before the birth of our daughter.  We know that she is  healthy and growing well; we know that her heart rate is strong and steady; and we know what her birth date will be, because we are officially scheduled for a c-section.

With my Nanny and Great-Aunt, Dawn

On the morning of January 16th, we will meet our beautiful baby girl.  And while a c-section isn't exactly how I had envisioned my delivery, I am oh-so-excited to meet my daughter in just 2 more days!

Baby Knox has been in the breech position for at least the past 8 weeks (possibly longer) and has seemingly had no desire to get herself into a better position.  After some research and lots of discussion, George and I chose not to try the external version procedure in which our doctor could have tried to turn the baby from the outside.  In our minds, the risks of the procedure were just not worth it.  The version has only a 50% success rate, can be extremely painful, and can cause the baby to go into distress.  I did try some at-home remedies (all of which involved me getting into completely ridiculous and uncomfortable positions), but baby hasn't budged.  I can't say that I entirely blame her - I wouldn't want to hang out upside-down all the time, either!

My nephew was the only boy to crash my shower!

So, how do I feel about the prospect of abdominal surgery versus getting to experience the labor and delivery process?  To be honest, I have struggled with feeling "cheated" out of the experience I had envisioned for myself.  It seems not quite "fair" that after carrying her around for 10 months and meeting her every need, I won't get to be the first person to hold her after she is born.  But after those brief moments of selfishness, I am reminded of how very blessed I am.  I am blessed to have experienced an unbelievably healthy and uncomplicated pregnancy.  I am blessed to have carried my baby to full term (39 weeks today!).  I am blessed to have a husband who will stay with our baby and keep her warm and safe against his skin until she can join me after the surgery.  I am blessed that, of all the dates this baby could have been born on, her birthday will be the same as her grandfather's (George's dad); a man she may not be able to meet, but who has certainly helped shape her little life already because he helped to raise her daddy into the man he is today.  I am blessed that this surgery even exists so that my baby can safely make her way into the world, despite her unconventional position.  I am so overwhelmed with all of my blessings that I really don't have room for much disappointment in the way things have worked out.

Practicing our "small smiles"

I thank God daily...hourly, even...that He has blessed us with this child.  I know so many women who are struggling to conceive, or who are waiting for a child to adopt, or who have lost a precious baby, and my heart breaks for them.  How can I be anything but abundantly grateful for this little girl, no matter how she arrives?  So, rather than jealousy, I choose contentment.  I choose joy.

Belly action

We'll see you in just a couple days, baby girl; you will be the best experience of our lives!